metal heart.

Mon, 12 Nov 2007 11:22:40 GMT

I'm bored.

Tue, 18 Sep 2007 13:29:44 GMT

I'm sick of all my hang ups.
I'm sick of being sick of.

Wake upppppppp.
The end of highschool is getting so goddamn close I can't wait but at the same time I am fucking frightened of what lies beyond.
Lack lack lack.

Tue, 14 Aug 2007 13:45:23 GMT

you've just lost.

and it's given me a clearer direction.

Mon, 25 Jun 2007 01:00:30 GMT

has it been a month?

Mon, 07 May 2007 08:05:21 GMT

fridayapril20th
we're driving away, into the night. down south, over the border away from the electricity flashing in the sky, and complacency (not quite). i'm driving, writing blind, stopping rattles on the parcel shelf.

i want a hundred more cigarettes and someone to spoon with. /being fat/lazy. fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu schooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool die in a cunting fire.

:D!

Thu, 08 Mar 2007 06:36:55 GMT

1. My sense of humour sucks.
2. I pretend alot.
3. I may or may not survive.
4. I am terrified that I am assimilating into some sort of normality.

+5. new modest mouse is brilliant.

Sat, 27 Jan 2007 12:37:48 GMT

sometimes all you can do is pretend that all of these moments are connected and mean something,
when all you really want to do is quit smoking and stop trying to be something.
faking grace and joy , i have decided , do not look good on me.

bob marley moments don't lead to much,
beer and everycunt being away or otherwise occupied would like to be conducive to caring about 'art' but somehow just end up with a lot of scribbles and a realisation that more beer is needed.

and i haven't written about these postal service moments that continue to plague me. not since he said he really liked that song and i wished it could be our song, before i realised how gay that shit is.
now i am waiting. and i am noticing my heart is beating, and it is increasing in pace and my chest is beginning involuntarily move up and down, quicker and quicker while i wait and wish and forget to remember disappointment is as possible as what it is i am anticipating.

these moments.

Tue, 23 Jan 2007 07:07:59 GMT

i haven't shaved my legs since friday.

for now, that is all.

Fri, 12 Jan 2007 07:51:39 GMT

i really am a sucker.
tonight, i wish there was something on so i could go the fuck out.

Thu, 11 Jan 2007 12:37:45 GMT

i am home and i feel neglected and unsure.
i know i am not ready to face anything on my own but alot of the time i fear that is how i stand.
i'm not fucking tough. i know nothing of conviction or steadiness and alot of the fucking time the jibberish i speak is just a coverup for the words i would never say. could never say.

and sometimes you just have to fucking accept that waiting around is all the fuck you'll ever be goddamn good for even though all you want to fucking do is go as fast as you can so you don't feel a fucking thing. when things crawl so fucking slow there's too much feeling, when there is so much waiting involved it's hard not to become a fucking neurotic wreck. when it's finally time to admit all these things to myself it's hard not to disconnect. but what would the good of that be?

i'm a lame and the way i treat myself is acceptance of this massive realisation.
it's not self protection, it's rejection.

END PIECE OF SHIT RANT.
(it's just chan's fault i am bawling.)

Thu, 04 Jan 2007 05:55:54 GMT

I am going crazy.

And not even the Beyonce kind.

Thu, 21 Dec 2006 13:16:07 GMT

Aha.
What a nut I am.

For now, I like life.

I pack my belongings and I head for the coast
it might not be a lot but I feel like I'm making the most.

...Aha, Modest Mouse are just ... everything right now.
Fuck everycunt for getting tickets before I had cash.

Mon, 11 Dec 2006 05:19:23 GMT

esther used to be the kind of girl that you could never leave.

i can hear them talking in the real world.
posts from amy's house are the best kind, really.

Sun, 26 Nov 2006 07:18:15 GMT

PS

Cunts are so off the list.

Seeya, dudes.

Mon, 20 Nov 2006 04:37:52 GMT

I WANT TO HUG TAMPY.

it is time for mango and sex and the city.

Tue, 14 Nov 2006 07:15:26 GMT

i don't feel good enough.

Tue, 31 Oct 2006 11:27:42 GMT

Let's do amazing things.